Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thankfully Thanksgiving

Traditionally my mother or Aunt Judy hosted Thanksgiving - until the year my son was born. He was born December 1st. That year my wife said "no" to attending Thanksgiving away from home. She knew she would not be able to sprawl out and be comfortable (in only the way a very pregnant woman needs to do) if she weren't at home. So that year the family came to us. My mom, dad, my mother-in-law and . . . well, I don't remember who else was there. The tradition never left our home. And over time the guest list changed. When it was at my mom's the attendees were exclusively from "our" side of the family. Now our guest list is built around a foundation of central cast members and other guests. This year, for the second year in a row, our dear friends Steve & Ellen joined us with their two kids. They are the friends that you can go years without seeing and upon getting together you pick up as if you saw each other just yesterday. This year, for the first time in six years, my sister-in-law, her husband and their three kids joined us. It was great to see the five cousins hang out together. My kids are 15 and 14, their kids are 9, 8 and 5. The seedlings for future traditions taking root. This year as we were about to say Grace I looked around the table. Uniquely I was overwhelmed with a feeling of thankfulness for each guest at our table . . . Bruce & Mary: Mary is a lifelong school friend of my wife's. Bruce has become a treasured friend of mine. Whenever we get together I have a sense of calm. They share with us life lessons and warning signs for what's ahead (their 3 kids are a older than ours). This past summer they gave us their summer home for a very much needed vacation which we couldn't otherwise have afforded. Andi & Howard: For the past couple of years Howard was on dialysis. He fought hard to stay alive. Andi was supporting him in every way possible. Through their hard work and tenacity Howard found a private donor recently and is now well on his way to a healthy and much longer life. Carole (Howards' mom). She is unique and she is a lesson in how small the world really is. She is a dear friend of my former bosses mother and has known him most of his life. She is also the long time neighbor of my colleagues parents and watched him grow up too. She is also a phenomenal baker and brings the most delicious of desserts!  Alan, Andi's brother, comes in from California every year. He's a lesson to my kids about making time for family. Aunt Judy and Uncle Lou - while they don't host Thanksgiving they do make the meal possible. Judy brings bags of side dishes and Uncle Lou is the master carver of our turkeys. After the meal Judy reigns in the disaster of a kitchen so that by the time she leaves we can once again see the sink. Missing from our table is my brother and sister. For each their own reasons they do not join us - ever. Every year my mom wonders out loud if they will join us "this year". In a few days my son turns 16. In a couple of years he's off to college. My daughter is just a year behind him. As I looked at them, next to my wife, I realized that all and everything that I am thankful for was within arms reach. And this year I had a silent prayer, a prayer with the sincerity like no other, a prayer of hope and passion. That our children, and their spouse and families, are always at our Thanksgiving table.