Thursday, September 23, 2010

It's A Trick I Tell You!

Yesterday I received an email from our Rabbi. A benefactor had donated 4 tickets to the White Sox game including parking. Wow! The game is on a Friday evening. The Rabbi asked me if I'd like to use the tickets.

Of course I responded that there is absolutely NO WAY that I would EVER consider missing services or the ALWAYS riveting sermon!

The truth . . . my son has a football game that afternoon and we wouldn't be able to make it to the Sox game in time. ;)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Screwed by 545

How our current political debacle came to be . . .

Charley Reese is a former journalist for 49 years including at Orlando Sentinel Newspaper. Over the years he has revised an article he originally wrote in the 1980's. This version below ran March 7, 1985.

26 years later we, the voters, continue to fail.

Charley Reese wrote:
Politicians, as I have often said, are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Everything is a problem created by Congress.

Too much bureaucracy? Blame Congress.

Too many rules? Blame Congress.

Unjust tax laws? Congress wrote them.

Out-of-control bureaucracy? Congress authorizes everything bureaucracies do.

The annual deficits? Congress votes for them.

The multi-trillion plus debt? Congress created it.

To put it into perspective just remember that 100 percent of the power of the federal government comes from the U.S. Constitution. If it's not in the Constitution, it's not authorized.

Then read your Constitution. 100 percent of the power of the federal government is invested solely in 545 individual human beings. That's all. They wield 100 percent of the power of the federal government.

That's 435 members of the U.S. House, 100 senators, one president and nine Supreme Court justices. Anything involving government that is wrong is 100 percent their fault.

I exclude the vice president because constitutionally he has no power except to preside over the Senate and to vote only in the case of a tie. I exclude the Federal Reserve because Congress created it and all its power is power Congress delegated to it and could withdraw anytime it chooses to do so. In fact, all the power exercised by the 3 million or so other federal employees is power delegated from the 545.

All bureaucracies are created by Congress or by executive order of the president. All are financed and staffed by Congress. All enforce laws passed by Congress. All operate under procedures authorized by Congress. That's why all complaints and protests should be properly directed at Congress, not at the individual agencies.

You don't like the IRS? Go see Congress.

Congress is the originator of all government problems and is also the only remedy available. That's why, politicians go to extraordinary lengths to make you think they are not responsible. Anytime a congressman pretends to be outraged by something a federal bureaucrat does, he is in fact engaging in one big massive con job. Federal employee can only enforce laws and procedures passed by Congress.

Partisans on both sides like to blame presidents for deficits, but all deficits are created by congress. The president may, by custom, recommend a budget, but it carries no legal weight. Only Congress can authorize and appropriate and levy taxes. That's what the federal budget consists of: expenditures authorized, funds appropriated and taxes levied.

Both Democrats and Republicans mislead the public. Throughout the years each party has held the majority, if they choose, the could have passed a balanced budget. Every president, Democrat or Republican, could have vetoed appropriations bills that did not make up a balanced budget.

Every president can recommended a balanced budget.

(Remember - Congress is who approves the budget.)  We have annual deficits and a huge federal debt because that's what Congress wants.

We have troops in various Third World rat holes because Congress and the president want them there.

Don't be conned. Don't let them escape responsibility. Use the only power you have - vote!

Source: snopes.com

Monday, September 20, 2010

Wet Pants

A nine-year-old is sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. This has never happened before. When he is discovered he will never hear the end of it from his classmates. 

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays, 'This is an emergency! I need help now!"
 
He looks up and sees the teacher coming, the look in her eyes conveys he has been discovered.
 
As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.
 
The boy pretends to be angry, but says to himself, "Thank you!"
 
Now, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. He goes to his gym locker and puts on shorts while his pants dry out. The other children help clean up around his desk. 

The sympathy is wonderful . . . but the ridicule that would have been his has been transferred to someone else. Susie.
 
She tries to help, but is told to get out. "You've done enough, you klutz!'
 
At the end of the day the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" 
Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too . . ."

May your Faith give you the empathy and courage to realize opportunities to do Gods works.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Humor - Lessons in Life

Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the "greener grass"

In the process, we end up in trouble



And when you find yourself in trouble and stuck in a situation you can't get out of, remember one thing . . . 

Not everyone who shows up . . .
is there to help you!




Thursday, September 16, 2010

BATY - Food Pantry Sorting

My son's youth group is donating their time to sort through thousands of donated can food items for our congregations food pantry. This is the flyer we created to build awareness and seek volunteers to help. I hope his group is successful. There sure are a lot of families in need.

BATY - Food Pantry Sorting

Humor - Man & Wife

A couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told him that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So his wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

They agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.

He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.

How can I possibly repay you?

My darling, she replied, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

BATY - Youth Lounge 092110

 
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My son is the VP of Publicity for his youth group. We are having fun working together and creating PR pieces for promotion within the group and for the congregation.

BATY Yom Kippur Food Drive

 
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Friday, September 10, 2010

Humor - Father & Son

Two sharks come upon a group of people swimming . . .

"Follow me, Son!" the Father Shark said to the Son Shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing." And they did.

"Now we eat everybody." And they did.

When they were both gorged, the Son asked,
"Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first?

Why did we swim around and around them?

His wise Father replied,

"Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Humor - Jewish

Rebbitzen: Hebrew for "Rabbi's wife"

Just before Rosh Hashanah, a man hears about a gay synagogue in San Francisco.

He's very excited, as this sounds like what he's been yearning for. He gets there, and sure enough, there's a gay cantor and a gay rabbi, and the Congregation too is mostly gay.

He joins in the service, but is terribly distracted by the handsome young man sitting next to him.

(There's really no good place to put a divider in a gay synagogue.)

Finally, he gives into temptation and puts his hand on the young man's knee.

Immediately two large men rush over, pick him up, carry him out of the sanctuary, and toss him down the stairs onto the street.

"Why did you do that?" he cried. "I thought this is a gay synagogue!"

"It is," replied one of his ejectors.

"But nobody messes with the rebbitzen."