Will you still need me, will you still feed me . . .

So we are crawling into bed last night. My wife is enduring some pain in her shoulder and neck that has resulted in multiple MRI's, chiropractic therapy, etc. She also is getting some orthotics in the next couple of days. A year or so ago she got bifocals. Today I picked up my new glasses - with bifocals. I've been dealing with some substantial sleep problems that has resulted in my just getting a CPAC. So as we crawl into bed, I turn to her and ask; "when did we get this old?"
I don't know if she was kidding or not, but she turned to me and said "what?". We are in our early 40's. We are too young for this!!!!

Looking back the picture ain't what it used to be

While growing up my mom kept a log of stories about the three of us kids - my brother, sister and me. Many of the stories recall trips to the ER, running wildly through stores, general misbehavior, broken things, etc. Years ago I thought of these stories as funny, amusing. Today I realize they capture the story of a home that was out of control and lacking proper limits. Sad.

Trifecta

The last eight days have been fantastic for our family. The kids got on the honor role for school, my son celebrated his bar mitzvah, and he earned his black belt. I can't recall so many feel good celebratory moments ever happening in such a short timespan! It's good to be their Dad.

I Have To Go Lose My Retainer

So about three weeks ago my son had his braces (teeth) removed. Time for the retainers. Luckily they cement in the bottom retainer. Not so with the top - it's removable. Now my son is much like most boys. Thank God his head is attached otherwise he would have lost it years ago. So we told him that we bought the first retainer. Replacements are his responsible. Their cost - $225. He said no problem.
As we were driving him to Tae Kwon Do he asked us to book an appointment with the orthodontist. We asked, "why?" He said that he lost his retainer. We reminded him that the $225 is coming out of his pocket. He said no problem. I asked him how did he lose it. He replied with, "isn't my paying for it enough?". At this point my wife and I realized something was up.
So we asked again, "how did you lose it?". My daughters face broke out into a smirk. Ah ha, she was in on it - she knew what happened. Our son had a pained expression on his face. "Well, uh, I um, lost it at school." Where? At this point I should point out that he doesn't lie. He'll try not to tell us something, but if asked directly he won't lie. "Um, in the bathroom". How? "Well, I was pooping and it just fell in." Uh? What? How? At this point his sister starts laughing. I have a mental image of this and start laughing too. My wife doesn't share in laughter - she wants answers. It seems he was popping it in and out with his tongue while sitting on the mug. One pop too many and it fell down . . . and in. I asked him did he think about fishing it out. "Heck no, I just finished what I was doing, flushed, and walked out." I can't blame him. $225 is a lot of money, but it's better than putting something in your mouth that was once in the toilet. There's just no way you could clean it / sanitize it enough.
The result of the. We now have a new phrase in our house. When you need to use the bathroom you can politely say, "I have to go lose my retainer".

another dinner with the town gossip

The last time we had dinner with her was about 4 years ago. Guess time really does dull the memory. So somehow we found ourselves having dinner with her and husband the other night. Throughout the meal we touched on the usual issues, what the kids are doing (the also have a son and daughter), what they are planning to do for their daughters upcoming 13th birthday, what our kids are doing, blah, blah, blah. So as the meal is ending, the bill has yet to arrive, she turns on her stage whisper and says, So, is it true? I ask her what is she talking about. She says that I must know what she is going to ask. I don't have a clue. She says that she heard I was aligned with a group to get rid of our clergy. My wife and I both looked at her and asked in near unison and asked "Are you nuts?" She then stammered and said she had heard it a few times. We pressed her and asked her to tell us. She then says the name of a mutual friend. He also happens to be a coworker of mine. Seems I have something to talk with him about on Monday. My hope is that it will be at least another four years until we have dinner again with the town gossip. Yeesh.

Vacation traditions

Families have their traditions. We have a specific two when we vacation. First - A&W. It seems that wherever we've gone throughout the US we find an A&W. So Root Beer Floats (BlackCows) have become a must-have treat. For such a small chain they seem to be everywhere - http://clients.mapquest.com/aw/mqlocator?link=find. The second is we seem to always find a turtle. From Colorado to Boston, south to Florida, and north to Wisconsin we find turtles. Crossing roads, on bike paths, in lakes, in the mountains, etc. Who knew there were so many turtles in this country!

another ride in the car

Awhile back, lots of years really, my wife was driving the kids to day care. My daughter, 17 months younger than my son, had a stick of some sorts in her hand. She waved it at her brother and said "poof you are a frog". Shrieking my son says, "Mommy, no. Tell her no. I do not want to be a frog." To which my daughter replied, "Poof, you are a frog.". Again her older brother complains that he does not want to be a frog. As my wife pulls into the parking spot she tells our son; "Don't worry - you are not a frog." As the car stops she hears my daughter whisper, "Poof. You ARE a frog." And thus my wife had to explain why my son had tears in his eyes as they walked into day care.

another day in the park

So this happened a few years ago, but some things stick in your mind. My MIL had just walked the Avon walk so we went to the park where they were welcoming all the walkers. As we walked to the rally point I was throwing a football for my son to catch. We worked our way through the park - he'd run ahead, I'd throw the ball, he'd catch it, etc. etc. As we got closer to the rally point there were various families sitting on blankets reading, enjoying the sun, having good quality family time. I threw the ball and it ended up rolling near the feet of an apparent sunbather. My son gave the guy a strange look and stepped away from him. I didn't see the guy say anything so I was kinda curious as to what was going on. As my wife and I got to my son I asked him what was going on. He just looked over at the guy. At this point my wife says "Is he dead?". I then look at the guy and realize he had a most unnatural sun tan. Rather gray as opposed to the red / brown one would expect. My wife takes the kids and walks a few feet away. I then walk up to the man and stand by his head and say "Sir!". Nothing. I say it again really loud. Nothing. But I do notice that a fly is crawling in and out of his nose. Yep. Dead.

another day in the trenches

Thus we begin - towards the end of the day when the mind begins to wander. What's on TV tonight (Weds TV sucks), what are the kids doing (Tae Kwon Do, Basketball), when is MOC?

MOC you ask? Martini O'Clock! This weekly oasis of libation and adult conversation started roughly 3 years ago when my good friend, Naysayer, and I started conversion classes. Individually, but at the same time, we decided to convert to the faith of our wives and children. After the first class we decided the only way to get through the process would be to "debrief" afterwards with a nice cocktail (or two, okay maybe three!). We finished conversion classes about 18 months ago but a tradition was born and thus we continue with our every Wednesday MOC. Just the four of us - Naysayer*, his wife (1.1), my wife (1.0) and me - GASHM.
* Names changed to protect against searching of their real names.

Naysayer and 1.1 have 3 boys (15 & twin 12 year olds). We have a son (almost 13) and a daughter (11). We each have a dog (theirs is about the size of a milk crate, ours could be fitted with a saddle and ridden at the local county fair). We live in a community that has the racial diversity of a bag of white rice. While everyone is aware of the financial concerns in the country, here the concept of cutting back means asking the lawn service for a discount.

Now you have the background for this little blog. We have a lil' bit of religion, budding teenagers (wait till you hear about the IM our son received from "a nice catholic girl" asking if he'd prefer to sleep with her or her friend), founders of MOC, and . . . we'll the stories will just on fold as time goes on . . .