Mmmmm, when we're 64

This past December  our family took a Tripcation: (Trip: with kids, Vacation: just Gail & I). 
Anyway, the weather was PERFECT (low 80's).

Perhaps it's because I'm older, perhaps it's because I knew Chicago winter weather was just around the corner, but gained an appreciation for the phrase "retire somewhere warm".  I get it. 

Along with thoughts of future retirement (long far forward future) I received this bit of humor today.

Thought it worth sharing . . . 

When we came out of the shop, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. 
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an “asshole”. 
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.
So Gail called him a “shit head”.  
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets.  
This went on for about 20 minutes.  The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. ;)

Humor - Lessons in Life

Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the "greener grass"

In the process, we end up in trouble

 

And when you find yourself in trouble and stuck in a situation you can't get out of, remember one thing . . . 

Not everyone who shows up . . .

is there to help you!

Humor - Man & Wife

A couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told him that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So his wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

They agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.

He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.

How can I possibly repay you?

My darling, she replied, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

Humor - Father & Son

Two sharks come upon a group of people swimming . . .

"Follow me, Son!" the Father Shark said to the Son Shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing." And they did.

"Now we eat everybody." And they did.

When they were both gorged, the Son asked,
"Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first?

Why did we swim around and around them?

His wise Father replied,

"Because they taste better without the shit inside!"