My uncle passed away the other day. I believe that it was by the grace of God that he did. Almost four months ago he had been diagnosed with a horrid type of brain cancer - glioblastoma multiforme (GBM), a stage 4 aggressive primary brain cancer.
From living life and in good health one week to depending on a wheel chair and watching the world slowly and irrevocable ebb way. It seems that he either had a heart attack or a pulmonary embolism. Either way he departed while still living at home, falling asleep each night and waking up each morning to his wife. So much better than what the future held . . .
Gail and I are fortunate. We were able to take time off work and drove to their home (a few hundred miles away) to have dinner with my uncle and his wife. It was a good visit. It was a visit that we termed as "Putting On Our Big Boy & Girl Pants". We knew for sure we wouldn't see again.
It was great to see him, visit, share some stories.
We learned family fun facts and lore. For example, I had no idea that the legal first name of my mother is completely different than what I thought. Perhaps slightly more surprising is that my Uncle and Mom have the same first name - how it is spelled differentiates the female / male. Who gives their kids the same name? Evidently my maternal grandparents! Who knew?
It was so very sad to watch him and his wife interact. To realize that soon their marriage of almost 40 years would end. Not for lack of love, or faith, or due to the stress of raising a family. But due to something so totally not in control - cancer. Certainly not what they planned.
My uncle's passing reminded me of another Uncle (not brothers) that passed about a decade ago. A few years after his passing we saw his wife at a family holiday gathering. We asked her how things were going. She looked us in the eye and said, "You know, we were gonna." She continued that as they raised their kids they put things off. (purchase of "nicer" things, travel, vacations, etc). They would say to each other that someday "they would gonna". Just as my uncle was about to retire he was diagnosed with a form of lung cancer. He was gone within a few weeks.
What my Uncles taught me: "Gonna" will likely never arrive. And cancer really sucks. Cancer doesn't care who you are, who loves you, how good a job you did, what your income is, what great kids you raised, or that there are a bunch of grandchildren that would benefit from you being around. And it certainly doesn't care how much you love your spouse or how long you've been married.
As all this is going through my mind a friend sent a picture - it's of my son and two of his buds from several years ago.
Comparing the pics was a "wow" moment. Time passes. I'm glad we are raising our kids and living our lives with plenty of "done that" rather than "gonna".
I'd rather sign off saying "been there, done that" than wishing about the incomplete gonna's.
From living life and in good health one week to depending on a wheel chair and watching the world slowly and irrevocable ebb way. It seems that he either had a heart attack or a pulmonary embolism. Either way he departed while still living at home, falling asleep each night and waking up each morning to his wife. So much better than what the future held . . .
Gail and I are fortunate. We were able to take time off work and drove to their home (a few hundred miles away) to have dinner with my uncle and his wife. It was a good visit. It was a visit that we termed as "Putting On Our Big Boy & Girl Pants". We knew for sure we wouldn't see again.
It was great to see him, visit, share some stories.
We learned family fun facts and lore. For example, I had no idea that the legal first name of my mother is completely different than what I thought. Perhaps slightly more surprising is that my Uncle and Mom have the same first name - how it is spelled differentiates the female / male. Who gives their kids the same name? Evidently my maternal grandparents! Who knew?
It was so very sad to watch him and his wife interact. To realize that soon their marriage of almost 40 years would end. Not for lack of love, or faith, or due to the stress of raising a family. But due to something so totally not in control - cancer. Certainly not what they planned.
My uncle's passing reminded me of another Uncle (not brothers) that passed about a decade ago. A few years after his passing we saw his wife at a family holiday gathering. We asked her how things were going. She looked us in the eye and said, "You know, we were gonna." She continued that as they raised their kids they put things off. (purchase of "nicer" things, travel, vacations, etc). They would say to each other that someday "they would gonna". Just as my uncle was about to retire he was diagnosed with a form of lung cancer. He was gone within a few weeks.
What my Uncles taught me: "Gonna" will likely never arrive. And cancer really sucks. Cancer doesn't care who you are, who loves you, how good a job you did, what your income is, what great kids you raised, or that there are a bunch of grandchildren that would benefit from you being around. And it certainly doesn't care how much you love your spouse or how long you've been married.
As all this is going through my mind a friend sent a picture - it's of my son and two of his buds from several years ago.
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| Mike, AJ & Jullian - 2006 The "boys" were hanging out together yesterday so we had them poise in the same order. |
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| Mike, AJ & Jullian - 2012 |
I'd rather sign off saying "been there, done that" than wishing about the incomplete gonna's.
